Essays
The Parser at the Threshold: Lovecraftian Horror in Interactive Fiction
I must be very deliberate now, and choose my words. —H. P. Lovecraft, "The Rats in the Walls" Horror is a wide-open field, not so much a genre in its own right as an atmosphere that can be applied to...
The Time I Saw a Guy Light His Wang on Fire
This is a true story. It was my last night in Austin, Texas, just before Ramee and I pulled up stakes and hauled them all the way out here to the East Coast. I was having a night out with...
Fiction
Thunderstorms spun through the swollen sky, colliding, merging, and splitting again in complex meteorological patterns. Thick, spinning cloud-walls bulged downward, quickening and elongating, dipping toward the ground as though sniffing for prey — but the funnels always retracted before touching...
"Patented Virilixer™ ointment remedy!" called the barker. He drawled out the last syllable of every sentence with a sort of slovenly grandiloquence. "Enhance your pulchritude! Increase your potency! Give your sweetheart something to sing about! Your money back if you...
The Potential of Missing Buttons
"Of course they always get it wrong," said Agent Blachow, as she and Agent Lavoie slipped into the guest suite of the governor's residence in Sarajevo, on June 28, 1914, 9:08 AM. Agent Blachow headed straight for an ornate tea...
Rain had made the ground muddy as hell. The wheelbarrow kept getting mired in it. And every time I hit a bump, one of Andy's arms would flop over the side and drag in the bushes or bang against tree...
The Case of the Curator's Pudding
History lies, as they say, in the details. Criminology textbooks of the future will dwell with quaint, scholarly obsessiveness over lists of clues not found, leads not followed, witnesses not interviewed, fundamental tenets of police procedure and forensic science not...
The World's Greatest Ice Cream Sundae
"Dude, I'm telling you, there won't be any." "Bullshit, man. They always have some." "Who's 'they'? Who's going to sell you one?" "I'm telling you man, there's a shop right up the way." Mitch pointed down the length of the...
The day that Congress passed the law granting full hunting privileges to the syneidophagi was considered an auspicious victory for the metaconservative majority, and indeed in many respects shaped the course of American politics for decades to come. It came...
Abby was late and her tights itched. She plucked self-consciously at her sweatpants, wishing she could shove her hand down under the waistband, under the leotard and tights, and just dig in with her nails. But she didn't. She wondered...
Herbie is not a political person by nature, but he tries to stay informed. He watches CNN every night. Burgess cleared of all charges in molestation scandal, reads the ticker at the bottom of the screen. Above it, the gray-haired...
Useless Science — or, The Alchemist
"How does it work?" "Ah. Very simply, you see," said the tall man. He indicated a small orange box resting on a pedestal in the center of the room. From the side of the box protruded a tiny silver crank....
She walked through the tall grass, under the high sun. Far distant, a single dark shape studded the horizon like a nail head — a red brick building. By stretching out her hand and squinting, she could just cover it...
Woman Leaving the Psychoanalyst
She tried reading magazines, but the faces on the covers made her uncomfortable. They winked suggestively and made kissing motions, and then looked sullen and threatening when she put them aside unopened. "Does he usually take this long?" she asked...
A Contagion of Orange Blossoms
The postcard lay in the exact center of my desk, wrapped in plastic. The plastic was clear except for a wide red stripe that obscured the artwork on the card. Yellow letters across the stripe read: DANGER. It was a...
Charlie hugged himself and wondered why he was naked. The tile was cold beneath his bare feet, the fluorescent lights bright and harsh. The hallway stretched on as far as he could see, narrowing in perspective down to a tiny...
